Torn

I'm terribly torn between being good and being bad. The hard part with this dilemma is that both sides leave me feeling satisfied in a different way. These days, being good means sticking to my goal of finishing off my credit card debt once and for all, so that I can go back to using credit cards only for what I'd originally intended them - large purchasese which I could pay off in one or two max billing cycles so that I get the good credit and the miles, and for emergencies. The last three years, my spending went out of control and then has never caught up enough to clean the slate. I'm close now, and I just made that first payment that took me to a balance of below a grand. Nice! Right? But that was yesterday, literally, and then today I've gone and bought two pairs of cute summer heels at my favorite shoe stores' summer sale. How could I not? Right? I'm still within reach of my goal before too long, but here is where we see that as good as being good felt - reaching goals, yeah! - having cute summer shoes feels good, too. I've been sadly without shoes that are not broken and that don't give me terrible blisters and make my feet into a furnace in what has suddenly become this hot summer. Spending, especially in the fashion lovers world... to do it or not to do it? I guess this won't kill me and I'll go back to saving... NOW.

Jury duty continues to drag on, and I continue to be amazed by my fellow juror who comes in wearing white lace shirts with nothing but a white bra beneath. My boy thought it was strange that I bothered wearing anything decent at all, saying if he didn't have to go to work he would look like a slob. I enjoy dressing up! This is my chance to have more time in the morning to put together fun outfits. It's giving me an inspirational buzz that I hope to hold on to.